Nowadays
by Olive-Pink-Lolli
Summary: There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Nietzsche
1. Bittersweet

I don't even know if this fandom is still alive, but I had always loved Rashel and Quinn. Their dynamic was beautiful to me and when I saw that they re-designed the whole cover of the _Night World_ series, I fell in love with **_The Chosen_** and its stunning cover.

I re-read the book and it bought back a serious case of nostalgia and memories of a time in my life where everything wasn't plagued with negativity.

Fell in love with them all over again.

And so, I will mostly be writing short drabbles, or one-shots or whatever it is they're called about my favorite couple. They mostly will be following the canon verse or be slightly/completely AUs. Not going to lie, I was having trouble bringing my personal story ideas to life so I took some prompts I found via online.

My writing style differs, I don't really think I have a certain style so bear with me if you notice. I'm obviously rusty.

Enjoy, and let me know what you think or suggest prompts if you're willing.

Oh, the websites I used are literally all three first results that popped up on google when I typed; writing prompts.

Prompt: _A bittersweet farewell: bitter for one person, sweet for the other_.

Plot: Zombie AU/All Human AU; Rashel gets bitten and asks Quinn to kill her.

Rating: Strong T

"You're okay, its okay. Ash is coming, Thea is with him so she can help." Rashel glanced at Quinn, his usual expression was strange to her, foreign. His normal apathetic gaze was replaced with worry, with a vast amount of fear. "Rashel, hey kitten you'll be okay. You'll be okay you hear me?"

She wanted to laugh. What a beautifully veiled lie.

"Quinn," he shook his head. "Don't talk too much. We don't need you losing too much blood."

" _Quinn_ ," "Rashel please, just – just please." The strain in his voice made her heart throb. " _Quinn,_ "

"Damnit Rashel! Can't you see I'm trying to help you? Thea is going to be here soon and she'll know what to do. I mean, sure she had to chop off Eric's hand off but now he's got a pretty useful weapon out of that stump of his right? Remember we called him Captain Hook the first few months? Ha! I'm surpr- "

" ** _John Quinn_**!" Her green eyes blurred with tears, the warm tracks spilling onto her cheeks as she watched him grit his teeth, eyes downcast and hands pressed tightly into her hip. He stopped talking at least, but he wouldn't look at her.

Rashel lifted her arm and carefully cupped his cheek until he was facing her. His eyes avoiding her. In a softer tone she repeated his name. "John Quinn, please," she swallowed the lump in her throat, " _please_ look at me." It took a few seconds before he finally lifted his eyes from the ground and looked into her bright green ones.

Her lips pulled into a soft, sad smile. She could see the utter fear he hid behind the false bravado of calm – the reluctant acceptance of what he knew she would say.

"John, you know they won't get here in time." He opened his mouth to argue but she shook her head to silence him, "And even if they did, Thea can't chop half my hip off. We both know what's going to happen soon John." He seemed to contemplate, his brain racking for something, anything to contradict her.

But there was nothing. Nothing he could find, nothing to prove her wrong with.

Instead he lifted his hands off her hip and encased her own hand on his face in a tight grip. He was not going to lose her, not this way, not today.

"Rashel – "

"I love you John Quinn."

The straw that broke the camel's back.

That was all she had to say for him to finally break down.

Quinn released a shout of anger and finally let the tears he's been holding back fall.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair! He needed her, he _needed_ Rashel and he had her. _He had her_!

He had her . . . he had her and he hadn't kept her safe.

It was a simple mission, collect whatever food you could, anything useful and return to base.

A quick and simple mission that shouldn't have taken more then an hour, an hour and a half at most.

But then they hadn't counted on hostile looters to jump them, hadn't counted on them firing a shot and definitely hadn't counted on a small hoard of flesh eaters sprinting after them.

Nothing was supposed to happen. Nothing was supposed to go wrong. But when one of the snarling creature snuck behind an oblivious and distracted Quinn, he hadn't counted on Rashel to throw her self at it.

Weapon-less Rashel tried to rip its throat out with her bare hands. Tried and succeeded.

Until a flesh eater took her by surprise and bit down on her side.

Quinn had watched the scene with horror, everything fuzzy and in slow motion as Rashel grunted and threw the throat-less monster off of her. Watched as one who was obviously missing a torso found new vigor and rapidly crawled towards Rashel and suddenly threw itself at her.

It had missed her neck, but it had clamped down on her exposed hip.

He had tried to scream, to run past the twice dead bodies and ram the sharpened hunting knife into its skull, but he was a second too late.

 _Not fast enough._

 _Not focused enough._

 ** _Not good enough._**

He was a second too late before the knife pierced through bone and the groaning became silent. A second too late as he picked up an astonished Rashel off the ground and into a safer area. A second too late before Rashel snapped out of her shock and gasped clutching her hip with trembling hands.

Everything had gone wrong within a second and he couldn't stop it.

"John, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Rashel," he ignored the crack in his voice and forced the lump down his throat, "Rashel Jordan, I love you. Don't leave me, not like this. Not now."

"Oh, John. I – I don't want to, but I have to. _I have to_."

Quinn let her hand go and slammed his fists into the ground. She didn't deserve this.

She didn't.

"John, you remember what I asked you a few months ago? What we talked about after Poppy and James? Do you remember?"

"Rashel, no. Don't –"

"I don't want to die like this John." He watched as her eyes filled with new tears, her fingers pulling his shirt towards her until he was nose to nose with her. She threaded her fingers into his hair and closed her eyes letting her tears coat her lashes.

She's so beautiful, so wonderful he felt his heart break at what she was suggesting.

"I can't. Rashel _I can't_."

"Yes, you can John Quinn. You can because you know this isn't how I want to die, you know I don't want to see myself slow become them," her eyes opened and she looked at him. "You know because I'm scared. I'm so _fucking_ scared."

Rashel searched his eyes and smiled when she saw him waver. She didn't want to turn into a flesh eater, didn't want Quinn to watch her with love in his eyes as she bit into his flesh.

She didn't want Quinn to end up like Poppy had. Letting a turned James bite her jaw with love in her eyes and arms wrapped around him lovingly while her brother shot a bullet into both of them to end it all.

She wouldn't let him.

She loves him, loves him enough to live with memories of her before this plague had hit them. Memories where it was sparing in the dojo and stealing spoonsfuls of his sundae when he wasn't looking. Days spent joking and being playful to nights wrapped in sheets and unfiltered passion only to repeat it all again with silly smiles and wordless _I love you's_.

Rashel could see the pain in his eyes. The broken, ugly realization that there really was nothing to do. Her heart thumped against her chest as she felt her body begin to heat up.

The first sign.

"John, it's happening. Please. I – I can't be them. I don't want to be them." Without another word she pushed his lips to hers and kissed him with all the love, tenderness and strength she had left to give. He returned the kiss with his own love, albeit – his was filled with sorrow and heartbreak.

When they pulled away, he had his gun by his side. He pressed his forehead against hers and ignored the heat he felt from her.

"I love you Rashel Jordan, I love you so much I hate myself for not having found you sooner. I love you so much that I sing that stupid kid song you love so much. In the morning, evening, afternoon and underneath the moon and whatever. I love you so much that I'm so happy I met you, later in life but I met you."

She couldn't hold her tears as she listened to him.

"I love you so much I asked you to marry me."

Quinn pulled away and smiled sadly. "Rashel, I love you so much I'd do anything you ask. Even if you asked me to kill you, **_I love you_**."

Rashel sobbed and gripped his hand tightly. She could already feel her body shutting down on her, her heart beating too quickly. There wasn't enough time, but she needed to say it, she couldn't go without saying it.

"John Quinn, I love you so much. I love you so much I let you tattoo your stupid name on me. I love you so much I ran away from home with you until Keller caught me. I love you so much I followed you to Boston even though I hate small towns. I love you so much I stood by you when your idiotic father tried to ruin you. I love you so much I'm upset I hadn't found you sooner."

"I love you so much I said yes when you asked me to marry you."

Rashel tried her best to control the sudden shake that had taken over her body. Just a few more seconds, all she needed was a few more seconds . . .

"John, I love you so much there is no other way I'd want to die then by your hands." She gasped and harshly breathed thru her nose.

If only there was more time. But there wasn't.

There never is.

They looked each other in the eyes, green and gray silently saying what else couldn't be said, what else had been missed.

Quinn smiled and Rashel felt herself return it despite the pain.

The gun came beside her head and she mouthed one last _I love you_ before Quinn shut his eyes the same instant, he heard the last struggle for air before it fell silent.

Quinn didn't wait for the animalistic growl that would sound soon, he pulled the trigger and slumped against the wall.

He didn't dare open his eyes. He didn't want to see this Rashel. It wasn't his Rashel.

It wasn't long before he heard them.

"QUINN! RASHEL!" There was fumbling and panting before the light from the outside invaded the dim closet. He still didn't open his eyes, not even when he felt Ash roughly pull him up and shove him outside, not even when he felt a fist connect with his face as he heard the sobs of Keller or Thea's startled gasp.

He didn't dare open them until he was down on the ground and facing the opposite side of the building.

Finally, after being cursed and kicked around by Keller he simply shook his head and said, "Rashel didn't want to become them. She was – "his voice cracked but he trudged on, "she was scared and I love her."

 _A bittersweet farewell: bitter for one person, sweet for the other._

They're completely AU and I did tamper with their personality. It was rusty, I'll admit, but I kind of like it but I'm not completely happy with it.

Let me know what needs to be fixed and I'll write again soon! So whoo!


	2. Wait A While

Prompt: N/A

Plot: Rashel and Quinn part ways after the enclave.

Rating: T

She twirled the small stake in her hands, her fingers delicately running up and down the ridges of the wood as she examined her handiwork.

"This kitten has claws."

Pulling out her emblem, she marked the forehead of the now mummified vampire and placed the wooden dagger back into her thigh holster. Green eyes quickly scanned over the area making sure there was no evidence, no trail that could possibly lead back to her.

After the fiasco that was the enclave, blending away was a very, _very_ difficult thing to do.

Rashel grinned, satisfied and quickly pressed the ear piece posing as a pair of pretty sparkly earrings. "Hey Elliot, case closed."

"As expected," Rashel walked towards the door of the suite, ears strained waiting for any tell-tale sign of someone, or _something_ on the other side. "But you might want to get out of there ASAP. Vanessa got intel that Daybreak was patrolling the area." _Great_ , Rashel thought, _I don't need this now_.

"Got it. How's the building looking?" She mumbled curses under her breath as the skimpy dress she wore tangled around her leg, the slit being more annoying then the heels. With a baited breath she pulled the handle of the door and tensed waiting for any possible threat.

She heard shuffling and typing from Elliot. "Clear. A werewolf on side C staircase and three leeches by the main elevator. Take exit A and walk towards level two, suite 35 has a change of clothes for you. Daphne slipped the key into your holster when you weren't looking."

Quietly opening the door of exit A she headed towards level two, her heels no longer that clumsy, drunken clacking sound they had been back at the club.

She made a mental note to thank Daphne for training her in the _art of model walking_. "Thank God. I don't think I could stand being in this thing for a moment longer." She heard chuckling. "Oh, shut it. Meet you in an hour, don't wait up." Cutting off the connection, Rashel casually made her way towards suite 35, her hair obscuring her face and heels once again clacking with a slight stumble.

Nobody looked at a drunk girl twice in a Vegas hotel.

Her fingers pulled out the key card from her holster and swiped it, her body suddenly coiled ready to strike.

She sensed him before he could touch her.

Rashel attempted to shove past him, but he anticipated it and griped her arm while his other hand cradled her hip. With a shove, he pushed her through the door and quickly twirled her until she was against the door, his leg logged between her thighs and hands incasing both her wrists above her head.

" _Quinn_."

" _Rashel_."

Neither said a word. Rashels green eyes scanning his face with an irritated scowl while Quinn gave her a cheeky grin. "I don't suppose you'll let me go anytime soon, right?"

She tried to lift her hip from the door but all it seemed to do was make Quinn press into her more. The exact _opposite_ of what she intended. "Nope." His breath tickled her ear and she cursed herself for relishing in his scent.

Sandalwood and a hint of mint.

With a sigh, Rashel let herself go limp. Her hands dangled in his grip as she forced the muscles in her core to relax. "Can I at least know what you're doing here?" He pulled himself away from her, dark eyes scanning her facial expression and body language. She couldn't blame him for being cautious.

She will admit that she may or may not have used the soulmate link to manipulate him into letting her go before she bolted out and their whole cat and mouse game would begin again.

"Relax, I'm wearing six-inch heels and a tedious, skimpy dress." He didn't seem convinced but he let her go completely.

Rashel sighed with relief and rummaged through the drawers before pulling out a pair of clothes stuffed into a small backpack. Promptly ignoring Quinn's presence, she slipped the straps of the dress down her shoulders and pulled the zipper at the side down. She could feel Quinn's eyes burn holes into her, the slight ruffle of clothing and the creak at the bed indicating he had sat down for the show.

Rashel would be lying if she said it didn't make a shudder of pleasure course through her.

Letting the dress pool in a puddle of glittery black, she unstrapped the holster and tossed it on the bed right where Quinn sat.

Or had been sitting at.

She shivered when cool fingertips lightly traced down her shoulders and along the curve of her spine. "John," she heard the slight possessive growl as Quinn wrapped his arms around her torso. She only called him by his given name a handful of times. "Not now, not today."

"And why not?" Rashel forced her brain to focus on getting her clothes on and _not_ on how a certain pair of hands were making their way downwards. An hour, she had an hour.

Taking a breath, she pushed his hands away and plopped herself on the bed, hands quickly fishing out the sweater and slipping her arms through the sleeves. "Because I have an hour and some not so happy puppies waiting for their master."

"Alexander DeMose?" Unzipping the heels off, Rashel kicked them off and stuffed them into the bag along with the dress. "The one and only." She didn't bother to look at his expression when she pulled her leggings up and shoved her feet into her normal boots.

She knew what she would see. That pained expression, that longing gaze.

"Daybreak was investigating a string of missing girls at a casino."

"So were we."

"Wanted to take him for questioning."

"He had nothing useful to say."

"Figured we'd try here first." He sighed as he watched Rashel place the wooden dagger into her hip and the holster into the bag. "Looks like you beat us to it."

"Quinn," why couldn't she just go back to John? "we had a chance and took it. He wasn't useful. He wasn't storing them for a slave trade or even meals. He just used them, drained them and left them by ditches after he let his puppies have a taste." Her voice was heavy with disgust.

It was things like this that made her realize she couldn't be a Daybreaker. Not like Quinn could.

Not after the fiasco that had happened after the enclave.

"It helped he didn't recognize me until after we went into his suite."

Quinn scowled. "I'm sorry I couldn't at least save your identity from them." Rashel waved her hand passively and slung the backpack on her shoulders. She had to leave soon.

"Doesn't matter. It was bound to happen at some point." Shrugging, Rashel absently stared towards the wall.

"It's alright. I think I was more upset that Hunter was still alive." She didn't fuss this time when Quinn pulled her towards him, his forehead touching hers and his eyes staring deeply into her own.

"Rashel, please. They can help _you_ , help _us_." She couldn't bare to see the hope in his eyes. "Timmy is doing well, Nyala is recovering. They want to meet you, you know? Want to meet the _Infamous Quinn's_ soulmate."

Quinn pulled her head up. "They want to meet Rashel Jordan the vampire hunter, The Cat. The girl who melted my icy heart and made me switch to the good side."

Rashel shook her head. "I can't Quinn. I can't do what you did. I've thought about it, thought long and hard about switching sides." Rashel gave him a melancholy smile. "But I'm not ready Quinn."

"We could be **_together_**. There wouldn't be a need to play this little game we always play."

The desperation in his voice made her heart crack.

"There wouldn't be a need for me to hunt you down just to steal kisses, to feel your touch, to love you thoroughly. I want to love you openly, I want _us_ to fight together. I want to know you're okay or that I can protect you without me begging the world not to hear of you being killed because they recognized you! Damnit, Rashel! Just please!"

Rashel laughed softly and with a tilt of her head, she slanted her lips against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. He eagerly returned the affection, his kiss meeting hers with hunger and passion.

Sometimes, the temptation was strong but her will to catch Hunter was even more so.

She pulled away and gave Quinn one last peck.

"I'm sorry Quinn. I love you." Rashel didn't wait for a response before ramming the hilt of the dagger she had previously had on her hip into the side of his head. She quickly pulled his slumped body towards the bed and tied his legs and arms with the bast cord Daphne had hidden in the side pocket of the backpack.

Making sure he was well tied and truly unconscious, Rashel placed a kiss on his cheek and turned towards the door pulling a baseball cap on her head and heading towards the side exit where Elliot had said the werewolves had been.

No doubt they've noticed their master has delayed their feeding time.

"Hey, I'm running late. I had a little trouble with a certain person. Can you let Elliot know?" Rashel hailed a cab once she was a block away and listened on the other line as Daphne scoffed.

"Right, a _little_ trouble. Rashel, you need to stop knocking the poor guy out and leaving him tied up! One of these days he's going to get tired and just haul you off." Rashel rolled her eyes and handed the cab driver cash and a tip before quickly scurrying into an alley and up the fire escape. "Daphs, he'll get over it. Besides, I made sure not to knock him out too hard." Glancing around her, she slipped into an open window and headed towards the door making sure to pull the lone set of keys from the dish by the entrance.

"Ugh, denial is not a good look on you Shell!"

"Whatever," Rashel started the car and pulled out of the garage complex and into the streets. "Just let Elliot know, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. See you soon! It's the oasis not the dry desert this time."

"Alright, see you." She hung up and sped up as the paved road slowly began to turn into plain dirt.

She fiddled with the ring she had hanging from her neck and sighed.

"Just wait for me a little longer Quinn. Just wait a little while more."

A/N: I would really like to thank the Guest reviewer! You're so sweet! I know this fandom is basically dead, but your one review really made my day and kept me motivated to write more. Even though it was only you, I'm glad you wrote what you did because it just makes me want to write more and kept me hopeful of at least **_someone_ **enjoys it.

Thank you so much!


	3. Moments Like These

Prompt: N/A

Plot: In the mist of war, they sought comfort in each other.

Rating: M

* * *

It was moments like this that Rashel cherished.

Her hair splayed out in a halo of black silk, body bare and wantonly aching for the man above her watching her with his eyes.

His eyes that were saturated with darkness and full of insatiable hunger and lovingly taking in every dip and every curve that made the hunger inside him increase ten-fold.

It was moments like this where they weren't tangled in a spar of sweat and personal gain. Moments like this where they weren't tangled amongst their enemies on the battlefield draped in blood and glory. Where there was no rush, no worry on either of their minds. Here, there was no need to hope against hope that they both came out of this alive.

This was war, but unlike the war raging outside there was no consequence for loss.

Moments like this where it was just Rashel and John.

Rashel who reverted from being the Cat to being a mewling kitten.

John who reverted from being the dreadful Quinn to being a love-struck boy.

"John," she gasped and wrapped her legs around his torso as she felt his fingers tease her where she wanted him, where she _needed_ him the most. His lips planted kisses along the curve of her neck, his fangs gently grazing her skin leaving light delicate marks along the way. Rashel moaned and wove her arms around him, his back becoming her anchor as she dug her nails deep in the skin of his back as he hit a particular spot.

Rashel felt him smirk against her chest, his laugh breathless and teasing. She huffed and wrapped an arm around his neck to bring it down towards lips crushed against hers in a heated kiss, need and longing coating her tongue.

John pulled his fingers away and Rashel whined pulling her lips away ready to voice her displeasure.

He grinned and with a thrust of his hips, she snapped her eyes closed and let out a breathy moan.

In moments like these, John savored her.

Because he knew moments like these would disappear the moment they reached their peak.

Their blissful moments will suddenly weigh with the ugly truth that was the real world.

No longer would it be Rashel and John, rather The Cat and Quinn.

Their soft touches will be nothing more than violent punches and bloody firsts. Words full of teasing mischief will become nothing more than biting words and stern commands.

The war for pleasure will become a war of power.

Their moments will no longer be theirs, rather they will be shared in the eyes of others.

Which is why these moments weren't only about satisfying their carnal hunger, but to satisfy their need for one another in silence.

John groaned as he felt Rashel tighten around him. They will reach their peak soon and he wanted to savor the moment a little longer.

"John, I love you." The breathlessness in her tone, the love in her eyes made his heart clench.

"Rashel, I love you too." He gently placed a kiss on her lips and buried his head against her neck and forced one more thrust before they both became undone in a heap of sweat and tangled limbs. Rashel let out a breath and he pulled away letting himself lay next to her and bringing his arm to pull her closer against him.

She pushed her silky hair to the side and further buried herself into his side until her head lay against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and fiddled with a strand of her midnight locks.

"If only we had more time."

"More moments like these." She hummed in agreement and kissed his chest. Maybe they didn't have all the time in the world, but they would always have moments like these to cherish.

* * *

Quick authors note: I'm not going to lie, I wasn't feeling inspired or particularly happy enough to write something within the end of February. Work was stressing me out and the stress and lack of a competent boss just broke me down and left me depressed.

But now I've gotten back into the flow and ideas are popping around in my head. And so, boom: I'm back at it.

Thank you so much to you wonderful reviewers and I hope you've had patience to deal with me.

Love you guys!

Also, I wasn't a crazy fan of this one-shot, but I promise the other one is gonna be wayyyyy better.

Who knows, it might be a continuation of Wait A While ;)


	4. Bridge

Prompt: N/A

Plot: AU _She laughed and kissed him again before walking away._

He should have made her stay; he should have pulled her close and made her stay.

Rating: T

* * *

He felt his body go numb, his gaze was distant and eyes staring straight ahead towards the wall. The phone he held in his grip slacked, the voice on the other end going in one ear and coming out the other.

Quinn had stopped paying attention to what the other person was telling him after he had heard the initial news.

 _Why were they still talking?_

"Her parents want to hold a small ceremony." The other person on the line cleared their throat, but he knew he could hear the slight crack in their voice.

He was holding his tears in too.

"I-I'm sorry. Um, they just want something small. K-Keller isn't," Daphne took in a shaky breath, "you know." Whatever it was that she was going to say, was cut off when the dial tone sounded in her ear.

Quinn didn't bother to finish hearing what she had to say, he already knew. He already knew what'd she say. The people she would bring up, the withheld tears she wanted to release again only to swallow them back down via a painful lump.

He already knew exactly how everything would pan out.

Quinn knew, but he just couldn't really process it.

Rashel was gone. Never to come back.

 _ **Dead**_.

He felt his chest tighten, his head throb and eyes begin to water. The word _dead_ kept bouncing in his thoughts. Rashel and dead shouldn't have even been in the same sentence.

But it was because that's what Daphne had relayed to him on the phone not even 15 minutes ago. After the normal greetings, he had picked up on her tone; the sudden stalling. He had brushed it off as nerves because she _is_ currently pregnant and had suffered a miscarriage a few months earlier.

He had thought it was something about her baby. If Rashel ever found out she had called and he hadn't asked – she would kill him herself. Except it wasn't worries about the baby this time. Daphne wasn't calling to reassure herself or to be polite.

No, instead she had choked out a sob and took a few minutes before saying the words he just _knew_ didn't belong together.

"Oh, Quinn! Sh-she! I just, oh god! Rashel, Rashel she – she isn't coming back. Rashel is dead. Oh, oh fuck." All that followed by a meek sorry and the sounds of sobbing before she had picked up the phone again and just started going on about arrangements.

Only, he had zoned out on that part because, obviously – who would listen to the rest?

After he had hung up, he swore he could feel his heart break. It was painful and it hurt just as much as people said it would. Everything felt painful. Breathing, seeing, just _being_ felt like torture.

But his true pain lied in his head.

Because Rashel is dead.

Rashel Jordan, his fiancé, his other half, his _**soulmate**_ , is _**dead**_.

Vaguely, he can hear his phone ring. The shrill sound suddenly snapping him out but not making the situation any better. How could it?

Quinn had always known there would be a possibility that Rashel might not come back from the front lines. They had both known, except it was always seen as such an impossible thing. They had the mentality most people have; _it won't happen to me._

They had expectations, they had hopes. Hopes that Rashel would come back from her tour, they share a kiss, hold hands and continue on with their lives until they were called back to fight.

His tour had been over months before hers. They made plans that after her own tour was done, she'd come back and they'd prepare for the wedding and start finding normal jobs. She would head back to college and he would work in a law firm with the title he never used but had earned.

They'd work like normal people and would be married within a year and after three, they'd start planning a family.

But Rashel wouldn't come back from her tour the way she had left for it.

She wouldn't come off the plane with her ebony hair in a standard bun or her emerald eyes gleaming with love and joy seeing Quinn with an over the top bouquet and flashy posters. She wouldn't roll her eyes at him or their friends and family while she took his gift and plants a kiss on his cheek, wouldn't mumble under her breath but smile when he calls her Kitten or when her twin, Keller would mock her.

Rashel wouldn't be coming back all smiles and love. Instead, she'll come back in a black box with the flag folded and their countries' men saluting her as their friends and family wear black and cry in pain.

 _Can't – can't breathe!_

The words kept replaying in his head like a continuous loop. His palms began to sweat and he gasped for breath. He needed to leave, he has to leave! The apartment suddenly seemed too big, too quiet, too _empty_. Rashels' presence was there, suddenly it became too much for Quinn to handle knowing what he did.

Quinn didn't know where'd he would go, his fingers just grasped the car keys foregoing any type of jacket despite the cold autumn air and he rushed down the ridiculous number of steps.

* * *

" _Hey! We need the exercise, John! We can't just be lazy for several months on end!"_

With shaky fingers he managed to throw the outside door open and somehow shove the car keys into the ignition.

He knows he shouldn't be driving. He could hurt people; he could hurt himself. He didn't care. He just slammed the car door shut and slammed his foot on the pedal and sped down the road.

Looking back at it, his only saving grace from not actually killing anyone was the fact that it was 1 a.m. and a weekday.

Quinn didn't know where he was going; all he felt was the cold whips of air smacking him in the face, the tears he had been trying to suppress blurring his vision and choked back sobs finally letting themselves be known. Speeding down the road and swerving between lanes, all he can recall are memories of Rashel.

* * *

" _Stationed here too?"_

" _Yup, first tour. You?" Quinn grinned._

" _Fifth. Newbies are usually sent somewhere less hostile. Let me guess, teacher's pet?" The girl with silky, ebony hair had laughed. Her mauve lips stretched in a wide smile revealing a lone dimple on the upper corner while her laugh sounded just like the soft bells from a windchime. Quinn took his time checking her out._

 _He thought her breathtaking. She was small, body athletic with firm, slim curves. Her skin was slightly tan, facial bone structure soft and feminine but with a hint of sharp angled cheekbones and exotic eyes._

 _He knew right then and there he had fallen in love already with her eyes._

 _They were green, a rich jade color in the sun, slightly angled in a natural cat eye. Her long, thick lashes made them pop out even more in intensity. Jade in the sun, but emerald in the shade. If you examined them as closely as he had, he knows you'd notice the little flecks of gray in those eyes giving them an exotic appearance._

 _At the moment, her eyes turned mischievous. "Ever heard of Leopold "The Panther" Jordan?"_

She stole his heart then and there.

" _Our tour is over. Ready to go back home for a while?"_

" _Definitely! Keller will be happy to know I can make it to her wedding. She swears she never saw herself marrying Galen. As if I didn't notice her obsession with that leopard stuffed toy, he had given her back in middle school." She had suddenly looked uncomfortable, her teeth gnawing on her lower lip as she looked like she was weighing options in her mind._

 _Before she could speak, he beat her to the punch._

" _Do you have a date?"_

" _Hm? Oh, no. I figured I'd just show up solo." He laughed and swung an arm around her._

" _How about I be your date and you introduce me as your second, better half?" She had laughed but the lovely blush that stayed after had been worth the punch she had given him mere seconds later._

Needless to say, after that wedding date, there had been plenty of other dates with promised bodily harm and sweet pleasures.

* * *

 _After years of dating, the little fights here and there and the shared apartment key – she had told him about the bridge._

 _It was where her father first met her mother, Melisande._

 _Where he proposed to her after a few years._

 _Where her mothers' water broke and they were born right there because the car had broken down earlier and the ambulance was still far away._

 _The same bridge where they had each carved their names into it as a family activity and where their father stayed with their mother as she took her last few breathes while the late stages of cancer stole her away from them. The same bridge her father looked over one last time before the car ahead of him lost control of itself and rammed right into him._

 _And regardless of the last few tragedies that bridge had caused her and her sister, she had always stated she would want her fiancé the propose to her at the exact same bridge._

 _So that's what John Quinn did._

 _After consulting with Ash and going through Keller and Galen's vigorous interrogation and gaining their daughters' seal of approval, he did exactly that._

 _He bought the classic, beautiful ring she had eyed when they had passed by it at the mall and bought her to the bridge asking if she could pin point where exactly this knock off rainbow fish, she swore she saw at age six._

 _Just to have her turn around, jaw drop and eyes become bright, jade jewels as he presented himself before her on one knee and velvet black box held open with the ring as he asked her to be his in this life and the next._

 _She had cried a tearful, happy yes and promptly shoved her tongue down his throat._

Quinn always knew he had fallen in love with her the first time he saw her.

* * *

Then he remembers her deployment, the kisses and touches goodbye.

 _She had a radiant smile, lips wide and eyes a little distant, a little sad as she looked towards him._

 _But that was always the look they gave each other. Still, that look would momentarily disappear when they took each other's hands and she placed a kiss on his lips and said his favorite, beautiful words._

" _I love you, John Quinn."_

" _I love you Rashel Jordan. Be safe, I'll see you when you get back."_

 _She laughed and kissed him again before walking away._

He should have made her stay; he should have pulled her close and made her stay.

* * *

He felt his hands tighten on the steering wheel, his eyes welling up with tears again when their last phone call replayed in his ears.

" _I'll be back within a week, maybe two. Keller said she'd bring Melody around; I can't believe she's already four and as sassy as Keller is."_

 _Quinn had laughed and leaned against the table. The phone in one hand and the spoon in the other._

 _They talked about everything and anything until it was late into the night. And before he hung up, he said "I love you; I'll see you soon Kitten."_

" _I love you too John, I'll see you soon, at the bridge remember!"_

But he wasn't going to see her. He wasn't and just repeating those memories in his head, he felt his chest constrict again.

He should have told her he loved her more often, he should have kissed her harder, kissed her softer, he should have treasured her. . .

But he lost her and he wouldn't get her back.

* * *

Quinn didn't even bother to adhere to the honks of some cars or the screaming pedestrians running out of the way.

His only thought was the bridge.

* * *

Her tawny colored eyes scanned the streets again, the few cars driving around were few and far between. Honestly, Dove didn't know what the point was in having her do late night patrolling. The cars here were few, especially at this time – and the people were pretty good at following the rules and signs. Sure, a few bad eggs in the batch liked to think they were drifting, racing bad-asses, but they almost always ended up begging for mercy when the ticket and the pen were in her hands.

Dove figured this night would end like the rest of the others; a few cars, barely any tickets and maybe an occasional racer. Sighing, she threw her hickory hair back into the ponytail it had been in, her eyes beginning to lower with boredom.

She considered just turning in and ending her shift early, the promise of 24-hour fast food drive thru singing her name. But before she could phone in and let the other patrol on call know, she heard a curse and before she knew it, a car was speeding past her. The driver was swerving, tail lights flickering one way or the other but never in a specific setting.

Drunk driver, Dove figured. Only they'd be reckless on the road. Turning her lights on and the familiar sound of the siren, she pulled away from the little hidden corner and sped up after the driver.

* * *

Quinn heard the siren, even in the state he was he knew that dreadful sound was meant to warn him.

It didn't matter actually, because it wasn't going to stop him from seeing Rashel.

" _I love you too John, I'll see you soon, at the bridge remember!"_

* * *

Dove sighed and felt annoyance flood her for a second.

Usually, after a block of chasing, most people would pull over and beg or curse her out. But the driver, who Dove had managed to get a glimpse of – was not stopping any time soon.

In fact, he sped up and Dove had a hard time trying to tail him when he kept swerving in and out of lanes and terrorizing the few people out. She was ready to call back up, but before she could, the driver screeched to a halt a few blocks up where the bridge was and got out.

She felt her heart plunge when instead of the staggering walk and slurred words, the man calmly stepped out and had tears running down his face.

The make shift cloth noose being dragged besides him. With panic gripping her nerves, she speeds up and stopped a good few feet away.

Police were always told to keep distance in high stake situations. In fact, she had a few instances where the people she was called in for were in distress. She had always called for backup and had usually managed to stop them from doing what they originally wanted to.

But this guy, he wasn't full on sobbing. He wasn't screaming or having snot and tears run down his face.

He was terrifyingly calm.

Calm as he reached the edge of the bridge and tied the make shift rope.

Dove panicked.

She quickly called an EMT and back up before running full force towards the stranger.

She didn't play hero often, but the melancholy calmness that caused him to stare out to the bridge really made her heart ache.

Dove tackled him just as he started to climb up the edge of the bridge. He didn't resist. Rather, he seemed too numb to even try and fight her off of him.

Instead, his mind seemed to slowly process everything happening. Like a faulty service finally connecting. His glassy, dark brown eyes seemed to lose their spaced-out hue and he looked around confused. She honestly expected him to lash out, to _try_ and push her off this time. But instead, his eyes became watery and had his arms wrap around her.

He began to cry, tears shedding and snot that she suspected but also the melancholy tone of voice trying to break though the tears. Then he just buried his face in her shoulder and uttered the words Dove hadn't expected.

"My fiancé she's not coming back home from war."

* * *

A/N: Soooooo, this is the latest thing I'm keeping as a two-shot back to back.

A few things; I know Rashel and Quinn sound pretty OC and stuff, but the reason for this is obvious since you know, Dove is around and all that.

Secondly, don't quote me on any of the info about tours and police and stuff. I mostly got what I could off Google and from Law and Order: SVU so I tried being really vague about it.

But yeah, it's pretty OC and I know I put Dove there, but it's not over for Rashel and Quinn exactly. So, yay!

Anyways, guys thanks so much for the reviews! I love and appreciate you!


End file.
